blowout | ⊱ BRUCE BANNER

It's three in the morning, Toni.

...were you sleeping? seriously? you've been at the tower for what, a week or something, date are hard right now and you haven't noticed that time is relative to me. i'm allowed to be drunk at 3AM, bruce.

It is three am, like I said.

What is it?

i need to teach you how to stay up at night. otherwise i might have to start calling you old man with rogers. so. the gamma rays i know made the whole other guy and rawr rawr i am the hulk and i save iron women from falling to their deaths and scare the shit out of them to bring them back to life. OBVIOUSLY THINGS ARE BIGGER THEN. but are they bigger while you're all not green and big.

[ let the record show that only toni stark could ask someone is your cock big while slightly drunk. ]

I could live with that. Somehow. If you stopped texting me when sane people are asleep.

...Sorry, is that the official mission report?

[ OH MY GOD TONI WHAT THE HELL EVEN ABORT ABORT, DANGER. ]

somehow. you couldn't it's inaccurate. also it makes me old and i don't like being called old. :( ...i was on the ground. those pants were not very loose-ish. A WOMAN SEES THINGS. you're avoiding the question banner.

[ WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, BRUCE? HULK OUT AND GROWL AT HER? SHE AIN'T SCARED OF YOU BIG GUY. ]

I don't think you have it in you to be old.

Okay, now I want to know seriously. Does S.H.I.E.L.D. have a Dear Penthouse letter from you about the Other Guy?

[ AVOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOID. ]

i don't have it in me to act old. s.h.i.e.l.d. had my age in my file. and i have a sneaking suspicion you read it. barely younger than you, awkwardly enough. i didn't write a dear penthouse letter on the Other Guy's penis. the thing is large and while i'm adventurous and like flirting with death, that thing would cut me in two. now they might have one about yours but weirdly enough, i haven't sent it in because i didn't see that one now did i? come on, it's not going to kill you to tell me. who would i even tell???

[ TONI, YOU WOULD TELL A LOT OF PEOPLE. or maybe not, hard to say. ]

And how would I get access to it?

Why don't you go to bed, sleep it off.

[ oh god could you just. talk about dead kittens for a while, toni, bruce needs to not... you know. jesus. ]

Edited 2012-05-07 04:42 (UTC)

...they didn't give you a funny package like they did me? really? two years behind. in case you're wondering. i'm not near my bed. at all. and while jarvis is awesome. and magic and is translating this from vaguely drunk me speak, he cannot get me to a bed. i already told you i'd ask this later too. even had jarvis make a note. ASK BANNER ABOUT THE PENIS. either way, you're going to be stuck answering it.

[ dead kittens. wow, that's morbid bruce, she is not supposed to talk about things that kill boners and shit. why would you- wow. ]

Ironwoman vs the Monster with his own death trap. Yeah, can't figure out why they didn't hand me everyone's profiles, too.

...Where are you, I'm getting up.

And hey Jarvis? Do me a favor if I drag her up to bed and ignore the reminder?

[ um YEAH boner killing is needed. he can't hurt his brosef ;; ]

i wasn't even allowed in the avengers initiative originally, okay. consultant because i'm- well me. and you need to stop with the monster thing. i thought we cleared up the whole, he's useful too issue. without him, this conversation wouldn't be taking place. i'd be a splat on the ground. i like him. why do you think i'm going to tell you? that's cheating, bruce. cheating. you have a brain, a really large one, where do you think i am.

[ but but. just don't hulk out, you did it on command that time. come on. don't be a party pooper.

and then there's jarvis mentioning that he never actually made the note. because it's jarvis and no. ]

i made him and he likes you more. i feel something about this.

I'm only saying, Toni. You can't blame them for being wary of what comes along too, when you get me.

I just woke up and you're in the foyer, aren't you? Jesus. Hang on, let me find some clothes and I'll be right there.

[ good god why didn't he go to india, again?

...hah. at least he wins that. ]

Thanks, Jarvis, I owe you one. Chess again tomorrow?

and the same can be said about me, bruce. but really, you proved that you're good or something. you proved that the worry was kind of dumb. pretty sure that if they could separate me from the suit, they'd do that. let's be so, i'm drunk and if i had the desire to, i could do math right now. complicated math. i've given speeches that i don't remember. that's how cool my brain is. no excuse. AND CLOTHES ARE OPTIONAL!!! THAT CAN BE THE ANSWER!

[ because toys. also reasons. also money.

... you suck so much. ]

wow, no there will be no chess playing. this isn't even fair. I FEEL LIKE I'M BEING TURNED ON HERE. this is my tower.

Fine, they should make me king of the world. Don't start moving, okay? I'll be right there.

The coolest, and fine. Don't comment and I won't drop you on the way to your room.

[ nyeah nyeah jarvis likes bruce best. ]

We'll talk tomorrow. Toni: I'm gonna put my phone in my pocket and come down now.

Edited 2012-05-07 05:35 (UTC)

i will move if i want to, bruce. my tower, my permission to move. indeed, i'm moving right now. maybe you won't be able to catch me. you won't drop me anyway. :(

[ this is so not fair, why is this her life. ]

fine. thank you, or something. i guess.

[ when bruce comes, what he ends up seeing is one ( 1 ) toni stark lying face down on the floor of her foyer. not because she fell or anything, but because it's nice. and cold. and getting up is hard work. promise she's not dead. maybe. ]

[ bruce has to fight down a tiny, pleased smile at the thank you; then, as promised, he slips his cell in the pocket of his robe-- seriously, toni, a robe? the buying clothes for him was weird, this was weirder-- and heads downstairs to fetch an ironlady.

(his boxers are sensible, toni, not boring, so shut up in advance. )

he can't help the tiny sigh that toni evokes; laying there, she looks like a victim and not a hero, and it makes the other guy brush up against the inside of bruce's skull with protective anger, making his stomach twitch and recoil like a cat stroked the wrong way.

toni may or may not have been screwing around when she said she likes the hulk, but the hulk isn't screwing around when he grumbles frustratedly from inside his cage.

...all right, less internal arguing over smashing whatever made toni lay on the floor like that, more scooping her up. he kneels by her side, then hesitantly reaches out and curls a hand around her shoulder, gingerly. ]

You awake, there?

Edited 2012-05-07 05:51 (UTC)

[ only bruce and pepper and rhodey and jarvis get those out of her. it's complicated, saying thank you and other things like that. she's toni stark. and it's hard. she liked the robe. it was purple and she likes him in purple. she's allowed, she has money and her sensibilities on his clothes need to not be offended. that includes the whole robe thing.

(boring. hers have little arc reactors on them. when she wears them.)

toni would argue that she's never the hero. (i'm not the hero type. always a way out. that's a one way trip.) but at the same time, her being victim sets her edge. it doesn't set iron woman on edge, because sometimes even heroes need help, but toni is a woman who has spent her whole life trying not to be the victim. it's hard thinking of herself even looking like one.

she was only half screwing around. the hulk caught her and the hulk growled and woke her up. without him, she really would be dead. and that's a depressing thought.

but enough of that mess. when she feels the hand on her shoulder (warm, in comparison to the whole cold floor) she makes a noise akin to a growl before popping an eye open. ]

If I say no, will you and the Other Guy leave me here on the floor? Because that works. Ish. Kind of. Maybe. The floor is cold. It's nice. I thought I had these things heated or something.

[ considering a lot of people think dr. banner left his witty repartee back in india, having things they only share with a small group is another trait in common.

(they're boxers. blue striped is more than enough for the required function. )

toni's the only one left who would argue that. (fear fear fear anger, leap.) bruce would never say so because she'd sock him for being too open, but anybody who tries to treat antonia stark like a victim deserves whatever they get.

but he was there. and thanks to toni's velvet gloved bulldozer approach, he's still there.

he huffs out a quiet laugh at the growl. ]

He likes you more than I do, he'd pick you up. [ a little shrug, and grin curling around the edges of his tone. ] But I can't promise he'd take it easy on the surroundings-- he's got butterfingers.

[ joking about the hulk still feels raw, like pressing fingers to a bruise until it aches, but it always seems to make toni happy; these days, he finds himself trying to do it anyway, for her. ] They are, you're just really drunk. I'm going to slide an arm under you now-- don't punch me.

[ to be fair, when she first met him, she was vaguely concerned. funny how spending time in a lab made that concern go right out the window.

(no, because toni stark does not sleep with men who do not wear cool boxers. at least make them red, dude.)

she'd argue it very loudly in an attempt to drown out any dissenting opinions. (the suit and i are one. how can you approve me but not approve me?) toni would sock him, she can't pretend that she wouldn't but at the same time, she'd agree. sorry but she likes to prove she's a badass.

you fight a bulldozer with another one. simple fact of life. she likes him there. it's a weird thing to admit outside her head.

she lets out the quietest of laughes before she turns her head to look at him. her eyes are a bit unfocused but she's looking at him as much as she can. ]

You both like me to some degree. You and him are together. You'd both pick me up. Otherwise you wouldn't be here. [ she looks at him weirdly for a moment before she mutters. ] I should- I could make the doorways bigger. He might have less of a case of butterfingers then. Maybe.

[ the thing is, toni wants him to joke about the hulk. when he does, he'll slowly become more at ease with it. so she thinks. if he doesn't try then he'll be like toni who, beyond pepper and rhodey and jarvis doesn't ever really admit that she's constantly courting death with those shrapnel bits. ] I feel like this should be one of those times when I'm not going to remember things. Are you sure they're warm? [ a beat. ] I won't punch you. Even if you cop a feel, I won't punch you. This is me giving permission for you to cop a feel, personally.

[ the lab is comfortable. dr. bruce banner belongs in a lab-- the other guy doesn't. it's easier to slip into the guy he was with toni, together in the lab. it's outside the labs where issues crop up.

(...just pick out his boxers too why don't you.)

someday, bruce will calmly address toni's idea that 'he who shouts the loudest wins the argument' is perhaps not quite textbook correct. someday. (the issue is: the other guy is bruce. there is exactly one driver in this car, but that's yet another 'someday' issue.) personally, he thinks she's already proved it enough, but he tries not to judge coping skills, given his own.

and he likes being there. even before the other guy screwed everything up, he wasn't the most social person in the world; sure, somehow he snagged betty, but that was a fluke. bruce banner was never the life of the party, and he's not sure antonia stark has ever been anything but. they're a compound that shouldn't blend without disaster, but they do.

that look makes him wince, a little, and wonder if there's any food to make for a hangover cure, or if he should order in. ]

Never said I wouldn't. [ he was lying, anyway; the other guy lets himself feel how much he approves of the ironlady. bruce can't even tell toni he doesn't mind if she rests her feet on his lap during the late late show. (maybe the green guy is the smart half, after all.) ] You don't need to wreck the doorways, just let me carry you upstairs.

[ she's smaller than she makes herself look with all that swagger, and bruce scoops her up and stands easily enough. ] I promise, these floors are still heated. [ his laugh is even rustier than his smile, but again toni brings it out. ] I'll keep that one in mind.

[ issues always crop up outside a lab. there's a funny thing most people don't get about toni and labs and being outside. yes, she's the life of the party, but that's not her. the truest form of her, without any swagger or anything is the woman people see in a lab. working.

(is that permission? don't tempt her.)

to be fair, when working in weapons as long as she did, she kind of learned that. 'if i scream really loud everyone will listen' proves scary correct when you're working at a disadvantage. good luck. (one driver, two cars on toni's end. never explaining that. ever. she gets, she doesn't like that she does.) her coping skills are unhealthy, but she's not dead yet, so whatever.

antonia stark is always the life of the party and the woman you have to take seriously because she's howard stark's daughter and she's a fucking genius. compounds in chemistry can blend sometimes, but you just need the right things to contain it.

she likes toast. it's shit at curing her hangovers, but she's had worse. she might remember tonight. ]

Implication. I think. That could be the scotch talking to. I don't really know. [ toni can't tell bruce that she puts her feet on him because she likes the way they seem to fit there. the implication is there, but saying it aloud in more of 'i actually like you more than just superficially' is hard. iron woman is okay with admitting that she likes the hulk though. and bruce too. (it's not like his issue, but it's close.) ] I wouldn't wreck them. Just modify. What if the next time we fight things I need to be carried to a bed? My bed. You gonna let Rogers or Thor do it?

[ she wears heels to make her taller, her suit has built in boots. her ego makes up the rest. she's small though. smaller than she thinks everyone on the team. though natasha barely beats her. her body curls against him and her face tries to bury itself in his neck. ] I'm checking that later, Bruce. Just so you know. It's not nice to lie. [ her lips curl into a real smile before she says anything else. ] You have a nice laugh. Does anyone tell you that?

[ then bruce gets toni, hiding in the labs she won't stop telling him are his, and the world can have the billionaire genius philanthropist.

(she needs permission?)

bruce never found yelling effective; but then again, he never really tried, either.

he's not making her toast. he's making her breakfast. ]

Let's just say on this one, he and I agree. [ god, why doesn't he have glasses to fumble with, or something in his hands to stare down at while he deals with having said. ] If I'm still hu-- him, when it's all over, something's wrong.

[ avoiding the question because hell no are steve and thor doing that. when did they get to this place, that the idea of steve reenacting some old movie with toni makes his pulse spike a little, again. ] I'll wait for your report. [ that makes him laugh again, surprised and a little embarrassed. ] It's uh... not usually what people say, no.

[ she's trying to make a name plate for him in the labs. just 'bruce banner's part of antonia stark's labs'. maybe then he won't even think of leaving at all.

(no, but some people like her to ask permission so she's trying it out.)

no, yelling is more of the other guy's specialty. dude is scarily good at it, too.

how are you even real, bruce? just don't do that. that's- something and she'll feel bad. ]

Should I feel special about that? You and the other guy agreeing on something and it's me. [ because toni woke him up at 3AM because she's rather inconsiderate like that. it's a gift, truly. ] It takes you a bit to change back after a battle though, doesn't it? I'm not remembering things wrong, right? You can tell me you would let them if you like. I'm a big girl, no hard feelings. Promise.

[ they got to this place because toni doesn't know how to shut her mouth sometimes. she knows that everyone knows she's capable of doing things, but at the same time, she's pretty sure half of the internet thinks it's a good idea for her to reeact old movies with steve or thor. ] I'll deliver it personally, you should feel flattered. [ that laugh only serves to make her smile more. ] They should. Put out a press release saying that you have a really nice laugh. If I was sentimental or something, I'd call it a song. Though that doesn't make sense and not sentimental. It really is nice though. You should laugh more.

⊱ BRUCE BANNER

☢ TEXT | i would never fight you on this bb theirloveissopure

☢ TEXT | the purest love made from science and gamma rays and reactors

☢ TEXT | also freezedried blueberries

☢ TEXT | can they have a freezedried fruit salad

☢ TEXT | yes i need this in-game now.

☢ TEXT | tony will make omlettes for pepper and FRUIT SALADS OF THE FREEZE DRIED VARIETY FOR HIS B

☢ TEXT | only the finest in space food for the bros

☢ TEXT | is it healthy though? important questions man.

☢ TEXT | tony and bruce, healthy AHAHAHAHAHAHA

☢ TEXT | HEY. ONE DAY THEY'LL HAVE TO MAYBE WORRY ABOUT- ACTUALLY NO THEY WOULDN'T LET'S BE REAL.

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