blowout | ⊱ DARCY LEWIS

You really shouldn't so freely inflict your inane songs of the past decade upon the stupidly impressionable. They're afterwards prone to blathering about them.

"Who Let the Dogs Out?" Truly?

okay first, this number is SUPPOSED to be unlisted. did you just key random numbers until somebody replied? because that's either admirable and troll on good sir! or it's a sign to cut back your drug of choice.

second, the factual confirmation of who, in fact, let the dogs out is a philosophical question for the ages and i will not apologize for their quest for knowledge.

"Supposed to be" being the operative phrase therein. You should really choose friends with tighter lips.

And what deeper meaning is there to be found behind so puerile a query? To what dogs are they even referring? Is it philosophical if the entire situation is based upon a hypothetical canine-related catastrophe?

oooh, are you a spy? because if you're a spy i should let you know that big brother is pretty much always watching. like, maybe even in the shower, which is a little creepy but hey. it is what it is.

look into my companion's eyes and you will find the answers you seek. alternately, it's a schrödinger thing. ARE THE DOGS ALIVE and who let them out to be either alive or dead, nobody knows.

if you really want to get mad? meatloaf, i'd do anything for love. because he'll do anything except THAT only that is never specified.

[ thor is watching people in their showeohhh a different big brother isn't this ]

Presumably leaving you to conduct your most nefarious of government-aligned exploits elsewhere. Now, if I say "yes", that I am a spy, does that leave you to ruminate upon the conundrum of a potential spy outwardly admitting his spy-work when it would usually and best be kept secret?

I really don't think this is a matter that should be looked into, even a fraction as long as it already has. The existential crisis of putative canines has never been my concern, and I'm not about to start now. It's really more serving as a cease and desist letter--text, if you will.

SUCH A POSER TBQH

brazened - 2012-07-03 02:57 (UTC) - Expand

Hey, I think I'm gettin' the hang of this iPod thing.

[ The thing still looks an awkward fit in his hand when he's all khakis and button down shirts, but at least it's off this time when he's approaching her. Not blaring Kelly Clarkson at obscene decibel levels because he can't quite figure out the volume control. ]

At least, uh. [ He reverently starts to unwind the neat little bundle he's wrapped the earbud wire in as he approaches her. ] Better than last time. You said you had some new stuff.

Look at you! Not even holding it like a dead rat anymore. They grow up so fast.

[ darcy un-wedges herself from the corner of the ridiculously squishy couch tony stuck in the tv room, making grabby hands at the ipod. ]

Gimme gimme, I got my laptop right here. I'll load you up, my man. [ continuing the grabby hands with one hand, she uses the other to grab her laptop. ] All right, this week's project is folk. I don't think you're ready for rap, and I want to get your reaction to Britney on film first before I launch you into the wide world of glittery mass produced dance hits. We're looking at slow guitars, maybe a tambourine. Very meaningful lyrics. Nothing major, cross my heart.

Not really a dead rat. [ Because, then again, dead rats aren't that noisy. So he says it slightly indignantly! But he's trustfully handing her the iPod, scratching a thumb behind his ear. ] More of a live one, maybe. [ Squealing and all. ]

[ but anyway joining her on the couch, quizzical squinting at the laptop and hands on his knees and all. "Wrap"? Like Christmas paper? ] Neither of those sound too bad. Glitter aside, that might be one for another time. All due respect.

[ then again she's not so subtly hinting at putting videos of him on U-Tubes again, so maybe no respect!! >:c ]

Sounds kinda like the Beatles then, right? [ he knows them you showed him them okay he knows them ] They used tambourines in some of their stuff.

You practically begged me to fix it, and you held it between two fingers. You need to work on your rat handling skills if that's how you hold them. [ rat handling skill critique: just another service darcy offers. ]

Rap is-- you'll see. [ she gives the khakis and a button down another look. ] Maybe we'll start small. You have to walk before you can run, and you have to Will Smith before you can Kanye.

[ look, it's a PRIVATE CHANNEL. and that video was super cute.

...so were all of them okay. it was necessary. ]

Good comparison! We're going a little more modern today, too, but that's not bad.

[ Okay, the begging thing is probably legitimate. ] You pick up a rat by the base of the tail. [ Gonna... confusedly pinch his thumb and his index finger at the air now like as if to mime rat picking upping. ] That's not so off!

[ is will the name or is he willing a smith to something and kanye??? ] So it's not like Christmas music?

[ channels are not private when a) you leave your computer on and b) tony stark exists. darcy. darcy. ]

Okay! I might be pretty keen on this stuff too, then. Whatcha got?

action; i saw none what

brazened - 2012-07-03 03:28 (UTC) - Expand

action;

spangly - 2012-07-11 06:38 (UTC) - Expand

[ the sound is slightly warped and full of static. like some eerie call from across the decades...

or like someone thought he could juice up his iphone by connecting it to something he shouldn't have connected it to. something high-voltage and probably prone to sparking. ]

What would a fella have to do to be graced with a cup of coffee, sweetheart?

[ now that isn't something you hear every day. not just because of the madly sketch call quality-- seriously, where is he calling from, the subbasement?-- but also because this phone generally doesn't get calls from voices darcy doesn't know. ]

He'd have to say please, unless he was suffering from like, a horrible injury and I felt sorry for him and coffee would ease the pain. Or he'd have to bribe me. Or he could go get one himself, that too.

[ cheerfully: ] So, are you a terrorist spy, hacker, or very unfortunate misdailer with a coffee jones? Because those are the three options I'm picturing.

I'm personally keen on option four: handsome genius millionaire inventor who has his hands full.

[ maybe he is in the subbasement, you don't know everything that's being kept down there. ]

Come on, doll. Please?

Edited 2012-07-03 02:20 (UTC)

See, but I don't have any proof you're hot. You could have a lazy eye, or a harelip. Or you could be a plumber and not a genius inventor. Side note: who calls themselves a genius inventor? That's like, Tarantino levels of self-aggrandizement. Usually that's only cool if somebody else brings it up.

[ if he's a terrorist, why not discuss semantics with him? ]

I'm not saying yes, but out of curiosity: where am I supposed to be bringing this coffee?

Edited 2012-07-03 02:24 (UTC)

Never heard of this Tarantino fella, so he can't be all that grand. You can check the goods for yourself when you bring me that coffee.

[ she's awfully sassy for a girl friday, but that's not necessarily a complaint. ]

Sub-one. The room with the heavy door and all the machines with the blinky lights?

voice; obviously they're not as fly as us

brazened - 2012-07-03 02:46 (UTC) - Expand

voice; their lack of fly cannot be denied

starkravinggenius - 2012-07-03 03:04 (UTC) - Expand

voice; bitches just don't know 'bout our timeskipping powers

brazened - 2012-07-03 03:14 (UTC) - Expand

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voice;

brazened - 2012-07-03 05:15 (UTC) - Expand

Uh yeah, can I get like your picture for the Bugle? Is that a thing that would be like, okay with you? It's for the science section, I promise.

well i WAS going to say yes but all the excuse-making has me worried it's for your stalker chest.

what the hey, why not. shirt on or off?

Um no. Stalker drawer, chest is a bit much.

It's a pretty serious article. I guess I'll leave that up to your inner artist.

just promise me all creepy candids will be flattering, creepy candids. a girl needs STANDARDS.

okay, so save tits or gtfo for later. when do you need them by? i can probably find one of like, me in a dress. with my hair combed.

hey man i know you're a few days from werewolf-PMSing all over the place but if you could make like a really concentrated effort not to maim me that would be SUPER AWESOME and i'd really appreciate it

[ and... this isn't awkward at all. ]

ok cool glad we had this conversation let's do it again sometime see you tomorrow bro

[ le click send.

and then: ]

[ OH FUCK ]

[ hahahahaha wow those numbers sure do look similar. ]

so if i told you that was a mistake would you believe me

that depends are you offering me cash money to pretend i'm an idiot?

[ squint ]

guess that depends on how much you want

trollan / i mean text, blocked number / i mean really who is this stranger

loki god go cry on a toadstool somewhere nobody likes you

fuck you i only cry in abandoned warehouses like a real villain!!

wow look out u gaiz we got a real badass here

i wear my sunglasses at night. GARDIN ASSES.

action;

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action; what html errors there were no errors

voice; seriously idek how this would work just go with it

voice; /ROLLS WITH AS IF I WERE HANGING AROUND THE HOMIES

voice; /WINGING IT LIKE A BOSS

voice; WHO NEEDS THE SPACE TIME CONTINUUM

voice; ONLY LOSERS, THAT'S WHO

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TEXT ❈ sure am cross-canoning up in here ❈ 1/?

TEXT ❈ 2/?

TEXT ❈ 3/4

TEXT ❈ 4/4 SO DONE

TEXT ❈ FLAWLESS NON-AU TBH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHOW YOU WATCHED

TEXT ❈ CLEARLY WHATEVER SHOW I DID WATCH WAS MISSING A CERTAIN POLI-SCI MAJOR